The Gift of Pain - Chapter 4

For Chapters 1-3 of My Story - The Gift of Pain, click on the link at the right.


Finally, I had been seizure-free for six months and I headed to the DMV to renew my license. I was heady with excitement and talked for days about all the places I would go when I once again had my independence.

I filled out the forms, and handed them over with a smile. My joy was short-lived when I was denied my renewal because of forms that had been incorrectly submitted by my doctor. I felt so desperate that I literally stood at the counter of the DMV sobbing and begging. The lady apologized and said her hands were tied. I would have to return once my paperwork was in order.

Another four months passed. I filled out forms, received doctor’s clearances and jumped through hoops. Finally, on July 16, 2004, I took the written test for the State of California Department of Motor Vehicles and I passed! The huge smile on my driver’s license said it all. I had my freedom back.

When I drove the car home, my family was waiting at the curb for my arrival.  My children and family wept with me, thanking God for answered prayers.  That evening I got in the car by myself, cranked up the stereo and drove for hours along the California coast. It was truly one of the happiest days of my life.

I decided to have a celebration party. Steve said he would cook and asked how many people to expect. I told him around thirty and started calling everyone I knew. That Saturday, we threw a party. At the final count, eighty people showed up to celebrate with us.

I had them take the written test for the DMV to see how many of them would pass.  Trust me, it's harder than you think!  I studied hard to pass that sucker.  I wanted to take the time to thank God for his healing and thank my family and friends for their support and prayers. I would not have made it those years without them. Little did I know how much I would lean on their support and prayers in the years that followed.

(Yes!  These are all their children, with a few missing!  We miss you Pryer Family!)

At the time, my brother-in-law owned a vintage VW Beetle. I had my friends pose in the car as a memento of that incredible day. I know the pictures are grainy and everyone looks a bit creepy with red-eye, but these pictures make me smile.

Life returned to normal, with my seizures in check, and I began to enjoy life more than ever. I started up a small purse design business, named Jenny and Lucille (the precursor to Jenny and Pearl) with my dear friend Doneanne.

Doneanne is one of the most creative people I have ever met and it was such a joy working with her. (Congrats to you, dear friend and your handsome hubby as you look forward to baby #4!)

Every week we would load up the van with our pop-up tent, tables, and product and head to the Huntington Beach Pier for the weekly craft show.  We loved coming up with new designs and the feedback from our customers at home parties and boutiques was very rewarding.  That period of time was a wonderful reprieve and shored me up for the challenges ahead.

Steve had been suffering from pain and pressure in his left arm for a while. We weren’t too concerned but took him to the doctor to have it checked out. They did some blood work and had him run a stress test. Everything came back normal and they sent him home, saying it was a touch of the flu or a pulled muscle.

Thursday, January 12, 2006 was a beautiful sunny day. I was out shopping when my brother called, asking if he could pop by our house to pick oranges off the tree. I told him I would meet him there and in the early afternoon I pulled up to the house, surprised to see Steve’s car in the driveway.

I went in the house and found Steve lying in bed. He was sweating profusely. I was immediately concerned and told him we needed to get him to the doctor.   He argued with me, claiming they would just send him home again like they had previously. All he wanted to do was take a nap, certain he would feel better when he woke up.  My brother and I stepped out and talked about Steve's condition. Something just wasn’t ‘right’ and we agreed that, if Steve wouldn’t go to the doctor, we needed to call 9-1-1.

Back in our room, Steve was struggling to breathe. I grabbed the phone and dialed emergency. Thankfully, there is a fire station just a stone’s throw from our house and within seconds, I could hear the siren in the distance.

Let Them Eat Cake

Well, I can safely say that I consumed more cake and pastries in the past four days than any other time in my life.  That is really saying something.

This represents just a portion of the goodies I have consumed.  I am SO not kidding!

The wedding is over, the bride and groom are in London, and life is returning to normal.  I am not even sure where to begin.  So much to do this week, to get caught up.  Taking pictures and listing product in my etsy shop, catching up on my writing, creating jewelry, cleaning the house.  I know it will eventually get done, so I need to relax and remember what a beautiful weekend we had.

Last night we got together with some of our dearest friends (if you weren't there it doesn't mean you're not dear).  We sat around reminiscing and laughing until our sides hurt.  Hard to believe we've known each other over twenty years.  Where has the time gone?  We gave that latte machine one more solid workout and I am not... I repeat... not... eating another dessert for at least a month week.

As we sat around, we were thinking back to when our kids were born and how time has flown. Now several of them are getting married and have children of their own.  We are in the midst of planning our own daughter's wedding next year (yeah!).

I have to admit, as a parent. that it is both exciting and terrifying to see your children become independent souls, as they make their own mistakes, achieve their personal victories and discover who they are.  I am comforted by the support of dear friends, as I tackle the challenge of parenting and am reassured by the knowledge that my children are ultimately in God's tender hands.

Our daughter R has discovered that one of her passions is horses, just like her cousin Megan!

She just packed her boots and left for a week of wrangling and counseling at Calicinto Ranch with her sweet friend Lauren.

I know they will have fun but also, that they will be blessed as they minister to the kids of prisoners.  These types of experiences are always life changing!

My challenge now is recovering from a major sugar/caffeine crash.  I need to get my energy back and figure out how to keep a Star Wars-obsessed,  energetic 12-year-old boy occupied this week.  Any suggestions?  Maybe just one more latte...

The Wedding - A Final Peek

Yes!  I have more pictures to share.

Following the ceremony, the bride and groom turned heads as they cruised through town in a cherry-red classic Thunderbird convertible.  I want this car! 

Natalie looked stunning in her sleeveless chiffon dress and Adrian was so handsome in his shades and gray suit with yellow socks to match Nat's flowers.

The mother-of-the-bride was also a bridesmaid.  My beautiful sister!

It was great to have friends and family gather from far and wide - Canada to Arizona and points between.

The reception was held in the backyard of the bride's parents.
They transformed their gorgeous yard with lanterns, candles and strings of lights.

 Kathy was determined to have candles floating in the pool, but the wind decided otherwise.

The coffee bar was a huge hit.  The father-of-the bride approves.

Julie and Cheng were kept busy all night, making delicious lattes.

The pastries and cake from The Blue Frog Bakery were killer!

For the kids, mountains of cupcakes were eaten

and a candy bar, with real movie theater popcorn was devoured.

Toasts were made and the father/daughter dance brought tears to my eyes (that always gets me).

The night ended with a screening of Princess Bride on the lawn, enjoying the beautiful California evening.

What a wonderful day!

"but the greatest of these is love" 
I Cor. 13:13

Snapshots

I'm overwhelmed.

You may know the feeling.  No matter what I do, it's not enough.  If I'm working in my office, I'm picturing the mountain (I'm being literal here) of laundry piled by the washing machine.  When I'm doing the laundry, I am thinking about the housework that needs to be done (why does the dog still have hair on her body when there's soooo much everywhere else?).  When I'm doing housework, I'm thinking, I need to spend more time with the kid's this summer.  When I'm out with the kids, I am trying to focus, but keep being drawn back to all the other things I should be doing.  It is a vicious cycle.

There never seems to be enough time, money or energy for what I need to accomplish.  This is hard for me to admit.  I hemmed and hawed about whether or not I should write this.  I hate whiners and don't want to sound like one, but I have a feeling there are others of you out there who may relate to my predicament.

Yesterday, it all just became too much.  I was being pulled in so many directions that I just gave up, sat in my chair and cried.  I had myself a first-class pity party!  Now a pity party is not festive, and nobody wants to join you, so I had it all by myself, no cake no banners, no gifts, just a box of tissue.  After I was done (and my eyes were red and blotchy), I walked away from the computer, ignored the housework, the laundry and yes, even my kids and went to my room.

I sat on my bed and had a looong talk with the Lord.  I told him about my fears and my frustrations.  He is the one friend that I know for sure will listen.  Slowly, I felt a peace begin to settle over my spirit.  I recalled the words that Jesus spoke, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27.  Slowly and sweetly I let those words calm my spirit and my mind.

Not wanting to leave my room, I picked up a box filled with unsorted, disorganized pictures and started going through them.  My first thought was to try and get them in order (must be doing!) but before long I got lost in the pictures and the memories and started focusing on how good life has been.

One thing about photographs, they capture a moment in time, but we tend to be selective, taking pictures of the good times and ignoring the bad.  I have never (and won't do it even for this blog) taken a picture of my mountain of dirty laundry.  I don't snap pictures of the bills piled on the desk and I don't have a single photograph of the dog poop in the backyard waiting to be picked up. 

I do, however, have pictures of my wedding day.  I have shot pictures madly of my children, from the day they were born, through their first steps, vacations, athletic events, academic awards, and the fun of watching them grow every day.  Their sweet faces fill my photo boxes.

I also have pictures of my own childhood, my beautiful parents and in-laws, my husband and me, young and in love and old(er) and still in love.  There are pictures of family - nieces and nephews, cousins and siblings, friends present and past and loved ones that are no longer with us.

After some time, poring over pictures, laughing at hairstyles and chubby cheeks, sharing memories with my husband, my daughter and her fiance, I felt my burden easing a bit more.  Nothing had actually changed since my pity party.  A magical fairy didn't fly in the window and do my laundry.  I didn't get a visit from Publisher's Clearing House with a check for $10,000,000 (or even $10!), but I did allow myself a fresh perspective.

It is true that my troubles cannot and should not be ignored, but I can change my primary focus.  I can choose which mental snapshot to keep and which ones to throw away.  With God's help, I am
committing to dwelling on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy"
Philippians 4:8.

I'll check back in and let you know how this new perspective works!

Guacamole for Dummies

What is better than a soft, ripe avocado?  Okay, I can think of a few things, but I'm not listing them here!  I love this delicious fruit (yes, fruit) sliced on a sandwich or topping a salad.  But the tastiest way to eat an avocado (in my not-so-humble opinion), is in guacamole.  I even like the way the word sounds, 'guac-a-mo-le'.  It just rolls off the tongue.

I had a predicament on Saturday.  I had three beautiful, soft, ripe, perfect California avocados that were screaming "GUACAMOLE!"  They wanted it, they needed it.  I wanted it, I needed it.  The problem was, I couldn't find a recipe that I trusted.  I had facebooked (is that a word?) my sister for her recipe.  She is renowned for her amazing guacamole, at least in our family.  I didn't hear back from her.  Was she avoiding me?  A dear friend saw my plight and came to my rescue.

Little did I know, Cristina has a food blog.  This is where the problems began.  I was really hungry when I entered her site.  Everything looked so delicious.  I got the guacamole recipe but then I saw the salsa rojo recipe.  Well, if we're going to have homemade guacamole, we need to have homemade salsa, right?

I knew you would agree.  I was all set and ready to leave her site when I caught a glimpse of the Bisteck Picado - be still my heart!

By this time, I was ravenous and I...must...have that spicy meat to go with my salsa and my guacamole.  So, with the three recipes in hand, I approached the cook in the family.  I batted my eyes and showed him the pictures on Cristina's site.  He was hooked.  I don't know if it was me, or his growling stomach, but off he went to our local Mexican market for the chilies, flap steak and other ingredients.

I am not exaggerating when I say, this was one of the best meals I have eaten in a while.  The guacamole was delish.  Steve tweaked it a little, cause that's what he does.  The salsa was scrumptious and, thankfully, made a large quantity.  But, the star of the show was the Bisteck Picado.  It was off the hook!

Now that you are drooling and thinking of racing out the door to your nearest Mexican food establishment, I will share with you our version of Cristina's amazing guacamole.  For the salsa and bisteck recipes, you can visit her site, Vengan a Comer (Come and Eat!)

Guacamole Ingredients

2 California avocados (no bias, they're just the best!)
2 small tomatoes
2 green onions
1/4 bunch of cilantro
garlic powder
salt
1 lime
hot sauce

Here are the assembled ingredients so you can see the amounts.  I didn't picture the lime or hot sauce because Steve decided to add them at the end (he just can't resist that hot sauce).  If your avocados are not ripe, put them in a dark place for two days.  This is called delayed gratification.  Once they're ripe keep them in the fridge to halt further ripening.

To remove the pit easily.  slice length-wise around the avocado, all the way to the pit. 

Smack that knife into the pit and pull it out - voila!

Get a spoon and scoop out the buttery avocado.

Mash it well.  It should be creamy, not too chunky.  This way it will stick to a tortilla chip - Yum!  Add the garlic powder and a pinch of salt.

Dice the tomatoes (we used Roma tomatoes - firm and not too seedy).

Finely dice the green onions.  These are not finely diced, but Steve likes them chunkier and Steve's the cook, so I don't complain.

Cut the stems off the cilantro and finely chop.  I love cilantro but it's not everybody's cup of tea, so if you don't care for it, leave it out (so sad).

Just look at this for a while.  Such colorful, fresh ingredients.  This is good food.
Okay, now that you're through looking, stir well.

Get a tortilla chip, or a spoon and taste.  Steve thought it needed a squeeze of lime and Louisiana hot sauce so he made his final adjustments and... oh, mama!  This was good.

Here's the cutest chef in Orange County.  Tasting the fruits of his labor.

Que aproveche!  (Bon appetit!)


*Don't forget to enter to win a gift certificate for merchandise from my etsy store.  The contest ends
tonight at midnight.  Click on the link at the top of the page for contest details.

To Do List

I have really been trying to take my own advice and make Sundays a day of rest, no blogging, no housework, no listing.  I am enjoying that one day of the week to focus on my Creator, relax with my family and recharge for the coming week.  All of this means, of course, that I have to get things in order on Saturday.

Today my list of to dos is long.  I'll check things off one at a time and what doesn't get done...well, tough!

~ Work on Natalie's wedding veil (I'm making it - here's a tiny peek)

~ Get my office and my merchandise in order - what a mess! (will not post a picture - don't want to make you cry)

~ Clean my bathroom and vacuum (recruiting family volunteers for this one)

~ Spend some time taming back my jungle of a yard

~ Finish my blog (almost done!)

~ Take more product pictures

~ Post said pictures on my site

~ Buy Rachel basketball shoes (pleeeeze, mom?!)

~ Drop off packages at the post office (Steve just left with packages in hand - thanks!)

~ Get some groceries

~ Make an attendance chart for my Sunday School class

... okay, I just looked at this list and realized, it ain't gonna happen!  I'm sure you all have a list as long, or longer.  I could keep adding to it, but I've got to focus on what's important and let the rest wait.

It's so easy to get overwhelmed with the 'to dos' of my life.  I need to make sure that somewhere in that list is what is really important

~ spend time in the Word and talking to the Lord (if not, I won't make it through the day)

~ sit down and share a coffee and a chat with a friend (motivation to complete my tasks)

~ snuggle with the kids and talk about their day

~ contact a friend who is struggling, to listen and tell her she's loved

~ finish my blog (done!)

I feel better already.  See you Monday!

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34 (NIV)

Reminiscing

I love the website The Bright Side Project.  They highlight beautiful finds from around the web as well as artists and bloggers.  The best part is they give away something free every day.  How fun is that?  In order to win, you have to ask a question posed by the highlighted contributor.  Lately, it seems as though the questions have all been about summer memories, "What is your best childhood summer memory?" or "What smells and sounds remind you of summer?"  It got me thinking and reminiscing about my earliest childhood summer memories.

I spent the first 14 years of my life in Canada, living in and around the Toronto area.  Anyone that has ever lived in a cold-weather climate knows that summer is anticipated and celebrated with great gusto.  Living in southern California, summer is appreciated but not the way it is in the northern climes.  We would count down the days to the end of school (what kid doesn't?) and look forward to shedding sweaters, jackets, boots and shoes in favor of barefeet or flip-flops and a bathing suit or a pair of shorts.

We were fortunate to have a cottage outside the city that we could escape to every year.  It was located on the lake shore in a church camp community near the town of Cobourg.  We could count on seeing the same familiar faces there year in and year out.  When Kid's camp wasn't on, our days were spent riding our bikes down the gravel roads, playing with our summer friends, throwing rocks in the lake, betting who could make theirs skip the furthest and hanging out at the beach.  The campground was self-contained with only one road in and mom wouldn't expect to see us all day, unless we were hungry or wanted some money to buy a bag of candy at the tuck shop.

I remember how much more relaxed my mother was in this environment.  With most of the dads coming to the cottage when they could escape work in the city for a few days here and there, it was primarily kids and moms whiling away the lazy days.  I loved seeing my beautiful tanned mom, relaxing and laughing with her friends in the sunshine.  We would wander up and down the beach between the clusters of kids and women, begging money for a popsicle, building sand castles, and splashing in the waves.  Hours were spent on the swings, pumping our legs as hard as we could, trying to touch the sky and jumping into the hot sand.

Back in those days, we still dressed up for church, so after a long day running down tar-covered roads and rolling in the sand, we would clean up (or at least wash off our feet), brush out our hair and dress up in our bright cotton dresses.  I had a friend or two that I would meet along the way and we would skip our way to the evening kid's service.

There were always contests (boys against the girls) with puppets, songs, games and more.  The converted barn was set up for the children's services and we would sit on the old wooden folding chairs with the fans whirring above us in the musty air.  Sometimes we spied a mouse crawling along one of the rafters and would squeal with horror.  We fidgeted and squirmed, carving our names into the arms of the chairs and passing notes to each other, whispering about the cute boy two rows up.  After the sun set, nice and late in the summer, we would catch fireflies and roast marshmallows over bonfires in the backyard.  If you wandered around long enough you were sure to find a backyard party at somebody's cottage.

When the strawberries were in season, mom would pull out her jars and the big jam pot and spend a day, cutting, mashing, cooking and canning the delicious strawberry jam.  Our favorite part was the pink, foamy bubbles that would boil to the surface.  We would argue over who got the first taste of this creamy treat on a piece of bread.

The other summertime treat we anticipated was the first sweet corn of the season.  Mom would banish us to the back steps with a bag and a bowl where we would shuck the corn.  There was a big slab of butter on the middle of the picnic table and plenty of napkins to go around.  We slathered the corn with the creamy yellow butter, salted generously and gobbled up the delicious corn while the butter dripped off our chins.

When dad was around, he would fire up the backyard barbecue and, as master of the grill, perfect the art of the ultimate burger.  Up and down the backyards, the smell of charcoal and lighter fluid permeated the air.

The only hitch in our summer activities were rainy days, which I'm sure every mother dreaded.  Those were Monopoly days.  We would have friends over or, if mom managed to scoot us out of the house, knock on someone else's door and set up the board for an epic game, sometimes lasting for hours.  But eventually, even with the rain, we would make our way outside, splashing in the puddles with our  rubber rain boots, twirling around with our umbrellas and floating homemade boats down the streams that ran down the roadsides.  After the rain would stop, the humidity level would be high and we could smell the damp grass and earthworms.

It was one of the saddest days of the year when we would pack up our summer things, pile them into the car, close up the cottage and wave goodbye to our summer friends to head back into the city.  But we knew that next year they would be back, a little taller and ready for more summer adventures.

Eat More Chocolate!

As we enjoy the weekend and head into summer, I thought I would give you some healthy tips to make life a little sweeter.

1.  Chocolate is good for you (can I hear an Amen!).

According to the Cleveland Clinic and other reputable sources, cocoa, in it's pure form, contains high levels of flavonoids, a compound that is a known antioxidant.  It is believed that Antioxidants aid the body's cells in resisting free radical damage that occurs from environmental sources and simply breathing.

"Flavanols are the main type of flavonoid found in cocoa and chocolate. In addition to having antioxidant qualities, research indicates that flavanols have other positive influences on vascular health, such as lowering blood pressure and improving blood flow to the brain and heart, making blood platelets less sticky and able to clot, and lowering cholesterol."

Be aware, however, not all chocolate has the same benefits.  The less processed cocoa has higher levels of flavonoids.  Your best option is darker chocolate with minimal added fats and sugars.

2.  Coffee is good for you (duh!).

According to the Mayo Clinic, recent studies have shown that the health benefits of coffee often outweigh the risks.  "These benefits include protecting against Parkinson's disease, type 2 diabetes and liver cancer. And it has a high content of antioxidants."

Drinking it with a friend and a piece of chocolate is even better!

3.  Butter is good for you (Paula Deen was right!)

According to several reliable sources, pure, delicious butter contains many healthy properties including the following
vitamin A - necessary for healthy thyroid and adrenal glands
lecithin - a substance needed for the assimilation and metabolism of cholesterol
silenium  and vitamin E- which protect the cardiovascular system
vitamin D -  essential to the proper absorption of calcium and  necessary for proper bone growth and preventing tooth decay

4.  Sunshine is good for you.

For years, doctors did not know why, but patients suffering from TB and other diseases healed faster when placed in a sunny location.  According the the magazine Scientific American, sunshine contains levels of Vitamin D necessary for bone formation and "powerfully influencing immune system responses and cell defenses."

5. Laughter is good for you.

This is the best one of all because, unlike coffee, butter, chocolate and sunshine, this one need not be taken in moderation!

^{Proverbs 17:22} A cheerful heart is good medicine,
      but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.

Laughter can
~  stimulate your organs and increase endorphins released by your brain.
~  activate and relieve your stress response, leaving you with a good, relaxed feeling
~  soothe tension and stomachaches, easing digestion and reducing some symptoms of stress
~  improve your immune system, releasing neuropeptides to help fight stress and illness
~  relieve pain by releasing the body's own natural painkillers
~  increase personal satisfaction

Don't you feel better already?

So, this summer take the time to relax in the sun, laugh with a friend, sip a cup of coffee, savor a piece of chocolate or smear some butter on that corn on the cob - doctors orders!

Aaahh!

That's the sound of me sighing, as another week comes to a close.

And what a great way to close out the week - a beach picnic with family and friends in Coronal del Mar.

Happy Birthday, Zack!

I couldn't get enough of the scenery last night, so I thought I would share my favorites with you.

So, sit back, relax and enjoy the view!

This hill looks deceptively small, but three switchbacks later - I'm gonna feel this in the morning!

Beautiful beach-side blooms!

This is why we come to the beach in the evening.

What a perfect way to end the day!

I hope your weekend is restful and blessed.

P.S.  Don't forget to nominate your personal heroes in the post "Personal Heroes - Chapter 2"

Percolating

For some time now I have had this idea brewing in my head.  It's been percolating (I know, another coffee reference - I can't help it) and I keep trying to ignore it or push it down, but it keeps popping back up.  The reasons I have been ignoring this idea are three-fold,

1.  I don't really know how to go about implementing this 'thing'.
2.  Somebody else can do it (lazy, huh?)
3.  I don't feel qualified.

Okay, so now you're curious, right (if not, just nod your head anyway).  It all has to do with the men in my life, primarily my husband and my son.

 Aren't they handsome?  Yes, there is a boy under that hair!

They both have ADD or Attention Deficit Disorder.  For those of you who do not have someone in your life dealing with ADD/ADHD, it is difficult to explain how this affects a family.

Don't get me wrong.  It is not all negative.  ADDers (as they are called) are often compassionate, creative, fun, resilient and more.

It's the down-side, however that can be a challenge to live with at times (it's okay, I have my husband's permission to be writing about this).  Some of the down-sides of having ADD are inattention, impulsivity, sleep disorders, learning disabilities and more.

As you can imagine, these things affect not only the ADDer, but the whole family.  This brings me to this idea that I mentioned.  I have encountered, over the past few years, countless women (sorry guys, I'm a girl, so that's who I'm dealing with here), who are the spouse or parent of these wonderful people.  It isn't something that just pops up in your first conversation, but as I have become closer with women, and observed their family dynamics, it is clear that there is a need for mutual support.

So, I have spoken with a couple of dear friends who have agreed with me.  Let's do this thing.  We are starting up a support group for women.  We are expanding this to include, Aspergers, autism, bi-polar, or any other challenges that you may feel qualify you in need of this support.  So often these conditions are co-morbid (meaning, they are simultaneous) with an ADD/ADHD prognosis.

My friends and I are not doctors, therapists, psychologists or any other 'ists'.  We are caring Christian women who want to offer encouragement and support to others, and receive the same, over a cup of coffee (of course!)

If you live in Orange County and this sounds like the kind of group you could use, email me karen@lightstone.tv and I will give you the info about where and when we are meeting.  For those of you who don't live in Southern California, but still feel you need support and encouragement, send me your email address and, as we share resources and links, I can forward them to you.

I am excited about this new venture and can't wait to see how God will use us to uplift one another!

"So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this; just keep on doing it. "
I Thessalonians 5:11 (The Message)