The Myth of Perfection

I had an interesting conversation with my nephew Jacob yesterday (or Ja-Bob, as I call him).  He has been going through a very difficult time lately and is struggling with some serious issues.

We were in the car alone and had our local Christian radio station on.  He was commenting on the songs, which ones he liked best and how powerful the words were.  Then he told me, "sometimes I listen to this music, and I like it, but sometimes I listen to rap and it isn't good for me, but I want to do it anyway.  I just can't help it."

I thought to myself, Jacob you are not alone.  You see, my problem isn't rap music, but it is my flesh at war with my spirit.  There are so many things I know I shouldn't do, but does that stop me?  No.  I am an adult - fairly mature and a parent at that.  But it does not prevent me from battling with anger, pride, jealousy and other aspects of my sinful nature.  On my own, I fail.

Paul could relate to me and Jacob.  He spoke about how this affected him, in the book of Romans

"For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. 

It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?"
Romans 7:17-24 MSG

If we were to leave things there, we would be in a sorry state.  But it doesn't end there, with hopelessness and defeat.  Paul continues on...

 ²⁵"The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."

The key is not in working harder,  but in submitting control to the One who is perfection.  This does not let us off the hook.  Quite the opposite.  It requires a daily, sometimes hourly submitting of our will to God and admitting our weaknesses to him.  It is our pride that keeps us striving for perfection.  It is our humility that allows us to admit that we are flawed.

"God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it."
Ephesians 2:8,9 NLT

Thanks, Jacob, for reminding me that we are all alike in this struggle, and we are not alone.

"Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.  All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely."

Personal Heroes - Chapter 2

I received such an overwhelming response from my first post on Personal Heroes that I have decided to make this a weekly entry.  If you are interested in nominating someone to be profiled here,  read the directions at the end of this post.  Today's post is brought to you by a guest blogger - my son.  This is something he wrote for school and I thought it was an appropriate entry for our Personal Heroes series. 

 The Best Dog Ever

Do you have a dog?  Many people do, just like me.  I have an amazing dog.  She helps me to always keep a positive attitude.  To explain her fully will take a while, but don't worry, it won't be boring.

First, I should tell you about my dog.  Her name is Casey.  Casey's original name was Lisa.  "What do you mean by an original name?" you ask.  Why, the reason I say this is because she was adopted.  But I will get into that later.  Casey is a very energetic dog.  She likes everything from playing 'chase' to just cuddling!

I got Casey (aka Lisa) at the Irvine Animal Shelter.  The date was July 22, 2007.  Also, at the shelter they said we were very lucky because she was just put up for adoption on that day and beagles are adopted very quickly.  I'm super happy that we got Casey.

I care for my dog by walking, playing, feeding her food, and picking up poo.  My favorite thing is playing, while my least favorite is...yep, you guessed it, picking up poo!  Ewwww!  I also like going for walks with her.  It's a lot of fun.  My favorite part of going for walks is whenever I say 'walk' she gets really excited and happy.

As you have guessed, owning a dog is pretty fun, but there are still a lot of responsibilities.  Don't worry though, because it's all worth it at...

the end.


"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love.  For me they are the role model for being alive."  ~Gilda Radner



Now, I have an assignment for you.  This is an audience-participation blog.

My son and I have shared with you about personal heroes and I have plenty more.  However,  I want to hear from you.  Who are your personal heroes?  They could be living or not, man or woman, famous or living in obscurity...you get the point.  Give me a couple sentences telling me who your hero is and why.  Leave it in the comments section below and I will pick one entry (or two, if I feel like it - this is my blog) to highlight here.

Be sure to leave your name or email me if you left it anonymous and let me know which one is yours.  I will contact you and get the scoop on your hero and give them a shout-out here.  I can't wait to hear your stories.

Percolating

For some time now I have had this idea brewing in my head.  It's been percolating (I know, another coffee reference - I can't help it) and I keep trying to ignore it or push it down, but it keeps popping back up.  The reasons I have been ignoring this idea are three-fold,

1.  I don't really know how to go about implementing this 'thing'.
2.  Somebody else can do it (lazy, huh?)
3.  I don't feel qualified.

Okay, so now you're curious, right (if not, just nod your head anyway).  It all has to do with the men in my life, primarily my husband and my son.

 Aren't they handsome?  Yes, there is a boy under that hair!

They both have ADD or Attention Deficit Disorder.  For those of you who do not have someone in your life dealing with ADD/ADHD, it is difficult to explain how this affects a family.

Don't get me wrong.  It is not all negative.  ADDers (as they are called) are often compassionate, creative, fun, resilient and more.

It's the down-side, however that can be a challenge to live with at times (it's okay, I have my husband's permission to be writing about this).  Some of the down-sides of having ADD are inattention, impulsivity, sleep disorders, learning disabilities and more.

As you can imagine, these things affect not only the ADDer, but the whole family.  This brings me to this idea that I mentioned.  I have encountered, over the past few years, countless women (sorry guys, I'm a girl, so that's who I'm dealing with here), who are the spouse or parent of these wonderful people.  It isn't something that just pops up in your first conversation, but as I have become closer with women, and observed their family dynamics, it is clear that there is a need for mutual support.

So, I have spoken with a couple of dear friends who have agreed with me.  Let's do this thing.  We are starting up a support group for women.  We are expanding this to include, Aspergers, autism, bi-polar, or any other challenges that you may feel qualify you in need of this support.  So often these conditions are co-morbid (meaning, they are simultaneous) with an ADD/ADHD prognosis.

My friends and I are not doctors, therapists, psychologists or any other 'ists'.  We are caring Christian women who want to offer encouragement and support to others, and receive the same, over a cup of coffee (of course!)

If you live in Orange County and this sounds like the kind of group you could use, email me karen@lightstone.tv and I will give you the info about where and when we are meeting.  For those of you who don't live in Southern California, but still feel you need support and encouragement, send me your email address and, as we share resources and links, I can forward them to you.

I am excited about this new venture and can't wait to see how God will use us to uplift one another!

"So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this; just keep on doing it. "
I Thessalonians 5:11 (The Message)

The Gift of Presence

I have a child that does not deal well with disappointment.  When something doesn't go as planned, it is hard to 'bounce back'.  Children deal with disappointment by fussing, complaining, pouting, yelling and often crying.  As a parent, I have learned to be careful what I promise to avoid disappointment.  I just can't deal with it!  Yesterday, this child was disappointed - and there was NO climbing out of the despair.  Nothing I could say or do was going to help.

Ten years ago, we were on a family vacation in Newfoundland, Canada.  One of the days was spent on a sightseeing trip to a bird sanctuary.  It was a spectacular day.  We walked across a beautiful meadow to the edge of magnificent ocean bluffs, where we saw thousands of puffins and other incredible sights.  Daddy and others took turns carrying our son on their shoulders on the way to the ocean view.

On the way back, he wanted to walk and while he took his time picking up rocks and pointing out all the goat poop, the others got ahead.  It was just the two of us left behind.  Well, we didn't get very far before he decided he wanted a piggy-back ride back, just like before.  There was no way I could manage it and told him he would have to walk on his own.  After arguing and fussing, he decided there was only one thing left to do to express his disappointment...

As every good mother would do... I got my camera and took a picture!

Yesterday, I was driving in the car (by myself, for a reprieve) I started thinking about how I handle disappointment.  No, I don't stomp my feet, cry and wail, or throw myself to the ground (much), but I do often get 'stuck', especially as it relates to my relationship with God.  I feel like I should get answers for my problems, immediate understanding or a break, for crying out loud!  Then it hit me, I am like a little child at times, whining "why me!" when things don't go my way.

Life is filled with disappointments - broken promises, shattered relationships, opportunities lost, betrayal, hurt feelings.  It is something we cannot avoid.  But how we respond to these disappointments is a sign of our maturity (or immaturity, as the case may be).

Don't get me wrong - I'm not there yet.  I'm on a learning curve.  But if I treat God or even others as though they 'owe me something', I am not living a life of faith.  In my book club this week, Kay Warren shared her heart in the book Dangerous Surrender, and her experience dealing with the brokenness of this world.  When she encountered a Bengali woman, grieving the disappointments of her life as she lay on her deathbed, she "offered the one thing I had in my power to offer - my presence, my very self.  I offered her the gift that everyone can give - the gift that costs more than our money or even our energy and time - our very presence."

That is what God desires us to do, give Him the gift of presence - time with Him, where he can heal the wounds of our disappointments, and not just for our own benefit, but so we can reach out to others suffering as we are.  "So I don't offer a new and improved 'me', I offer him". 

There's nothing better that we can give.

"So he became their Savior.  In all their troubles, he was troubled, too.  He didn't send someone else to help them.  He did it himself, in person."  Isaiah 63:8-9 MSG

Uninspired

Some days it's just not there - the inspiration doesn't come and it can't be forced.

I have been SO busy today, listing some fun things in my etsy store, catching up on old business and plowing through it all.

But I don't want to leave you uninspired, so I have chosen a few of my favorite pics by my daughter R to bring you some joy today. Maybe tomorrow inspiration will return!


Our dog Casey - we pray she will be feeling better soon!




The brook near our cabin - I think I can hear the water!




Her prize-winning picture from a photo contest - San Diego Zoo




The budding photographer - so sweet.

May your day be blessed!

MOTB

We are planning a wedding at our house and it is so much fun! Talking about wedding dresses, how many guests (got to trim that list!), locations, food, flowers and all that is involved, is way more fun than I remember when we were married (almost 30 years ago - yikes!). But, the most fun of all is seeing my daughter beaming with joy at the thought of being a married woman.

I think back on all the years her daddy and I spent praying for her and for her unnamed husband-to-be. It is thrilling to see how God had prepared each of them for the other. And, he's a middle child, just like me!

So now I will be a MOTB (that's mother-of-the-bride for the uninitiated). I have mixed feelings as I think of letting our little girl go, but realize that she has never been 'only ours'. We dedicated her to God and have enjoyed watching her grow and exert her independence from us while becoming more dependent on God. That is exciting! To know that their marriage will be built on a foundation that is solid.

As the day approaches, I can't wait to share with you all the joy and excitement that we anticipate. Just a sneak peek -the picture above is from the park where they are going to be married - SO beautiful!


"Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything." I Peter 4:8 The Message