Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts

Friday, May 28, 2010

The Gift of Presence

I have a child that does not deal well with disappointment.  When something doesn't go as planned, it is hard to 'bounce back'.  Children deal with disappointment by fussing, complaining, pouting, yelling and often crying.  As a parent, I have learned to be careful what I promise to avoid disappointment.  I just can't deal with it!  Yesterday, this child was disappointed - and there was NO climbing out of the despair.  Nothing I could say or do was going to help.

Ten years ago, we were on a family vacation in Newfoundland, Canada.  One of the days was spent on a sightseeing trip to a bird sanctuary.  It was a spectacular day.  We walked across a beautiful meadow to the edge of magnificent ocean bluffs, where we saw thousands of puffins and other incredible sights.  Daddy and others took turns carrying our son on their shoulders on the way to the ocean view.

On the way back, he wanted to walk and while he took his time picking up rocks and pointing out all the goat poop, the others got ahead.  It was just the two of us left behind.  Well, we didn't get very far before he decided he wanted a piggy-back ride back, just like before.  There was no way I could manage it and told him he would have to walk on his own.  After arguing and fussing, he decided there was only one thing left to do to express his disappointment...

As every good mother would do... I got my camera and took a picture!

Yesterday, I was driving in the car (by myself, for a reprieve) I started thinking about how I handle disappointment.  No, I don't stomp my feet, cry and wail, or throw myself to the ground (much), but I do often get 'stuck', especially as it relates to my relationship with God.  I feel like I should get answers for my problems, immediate understanding or a break, for crying out loud!  Then it hit me, I am like a little child at times, whining "why me!" when things don't go my way.

Life is filled with disappointments - broken promises, shattered relationships, opportunities lost, betrayal, hurt feelings.  It is something we cannot avoid.  But how we respond to these disappointments is a sign of our maturity (or immaturity, as the case may be).



Don't get me wrong - I'm not there yet.  I'm on a learning curve.  But if I treat God or even others as though they 'owe me something', I am not living a life of faith.  In my book club this week, Kay Warren shared her heart in the book Dangerous Surrender, and her experience dealing with the brokenness of this world.  When she encountered a Bengali woman, grieving the disappointments of her life as she lay on her deathbed, she "offered the one thing I had in my power to offer - my presence, my very self.  I offered her the gift that everyone can give - the gift that costs more than our money or even our energy and time - our very presence."

That is what God desires us to do, give Him the gift of presence - time with Him, where he can heal the wounds of our disappointments, and not just for our own benefit, but so we can reach out to others suffering as we are.  "So I don't offer a new and improved 'me', I offer him". 

There's nothing better that we can give.

"So he became their Savior.  In all their troubles, he was troubled, too.  He didn't send someone else to help them.  He did it himself, in person."  Isaiah 63:8-9 MSG

Monday, May 24, 2010

Farewell to a Friend

I have been struggling with what to say today.  This morning I got a call from my mom to tell me that a dear friend had died.  Cindy had been ill for a very extended time and confined to a hospital bed.  Sometimes she would respond to visitors and at other times there was nothing but a blank stare.  The last time I saw her she smiled warmly when I came in the room and sang along with me.

Throughout her illness her beautiful children have been without the presence of a loving mother in their home.  They have done their very best to care for each other and 'keep the faith'.  We will never know how difficult this has been for them.  Cindy's courageous mom is in poor health herself and I cannot imagine the grief she bears, losing another child.

After talking to Pam on the phone today, I thought I would share with you the things I loved the most about my friend and the times we spent together, before kids, before marriage, before life became very complicated!

- her sense of humor  - she was the queen of practical jokes and spent a small fortune on Charmin to TP people's houses - my father was NOT amused

- her gift of music - she played the piano beautifully and loved music!

- her generosity

- her smile - killer!

- her M&M cookies - yum!  I need to make some today.

- her sense of adventure - we traveled from Canada to Central America together, and we were 'cohorts in crime'


I chose this grainy old picture of us for several reasons (I'm in the pink and Cindy is in black beside me). I love to remember the fun we had having dinner on top of the CN Tower in Toronto. We are seated with our youth pastor Dennis and his beautiful wife Lynda. Oh, how we tormented those two. I know we look sweet and innocent in the picture, but it is by God's grace alone that Dennis and Lynda still love us!

Ultimately, it is God's grace that I am dwelling on most today. I knew Cindy well enough to know that she was talented and beautiful, but also complicated and flawed (just like me!)

It is comforting and precious beyond words to know that today, her suffering is over, her body is released from its terrible bondage and she is resting at the feet of Jesus.

Cindy, you are loved. You will be missed. I will see you soon.


"So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (The Message)