Aspies and Wookiees

This is me with my boy.

He is my #1 fan (he wanted you to know this).   He is also funny and smart - voted Most Likely to Become President, say what!?

Did I mention, he is sweet, handsome and has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD?  Yes, if you are wondering, I did ask him if it was okay to share this with you.  He said, "Sure mom, thanks for asking!" (That's my boy!)

This is the definition of Asperger's, according to the world-renowned Mayo Clinic.

Asperger's syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects a child's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Children with Asperger's syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics. 

Doctors group Asperger's syndrome with other conditions that are called autistic spectrum disorders or pervasive developmental disorders. These disorders all involve problems with social skills and communication. Asperger's syndrome is generally thought to be at the milder end of this spectrum. 

Sam is definitely on the milder end of the spectrum.  He looks like every other 12-year-old boy (except he's cuter!)  But those who know him best, his teachers and family, are aware of his 'Aspies' tendencies that can often cause frustration, confusion and affect his relationships, as well as his performance in school.  This diagnosis will allow us to access all of the incredible resources and programs that are now available for kids just like him.

The 'all-absorbing interest in specific topics' for my boy at this time is Star Wars.  Here he is as the evil Darth Vader, with his friend Iron Man.

His hero is George Lucas.  He reads about Star Wars, talks about Star Wars, watches Star Wars and, I would guess, dreams about Wookiees and clone troopers. Thanks to Uncle Gary, he has an endless supply of Star Wars tshirts.

When he grows up, he wants to be a director, like George Lucas.  He also has another obsession - LEGO.  Star Wars + LEGO = perfection!  While these obsessions can, at times drive older sisters (and parents) crazy, it is this single-mindedness that can allow Aspies to become experts in their field of choice.  Now, we just have to figure out how to meet up with George Lucas!

Another common issue with Aspie's is extreme food selectivity.  Much of this is due to sensory issues.  This is certainly the case with our boy.  Because of this, we were referred to a nutritionist, to help us deal with his food sensitivity and broaden his food palate.

We just went this week and it was a very informative visit.  I know that many of you have children on the spectrum, dealing with these very same issues.  So, I thought I would pass along some of the advice the nutritionist gave us.

In a nutshell, these are the foods that research has shown, should be avoided
~ synthetic food additives ~ MSG, artifical sweeteners, flavors and coloring
~ pesticides (organic whenever possible)
~ refined sugar
~ trans fats
This is one that the nutritionist says is especially critical, something about EPA/DHA and brain synapse.  I'm still trying to understand it.

The following are critical for brain health
~ a well-rounded diet with sufficient protein, carbs and fat
~ proper nutritional supplements
~ water
~ Omega-3 fatty acid supplement

Amazing, isn't it, how fat has gotten such a bad rap.  It is vital, in the proper forms, for the maintenance of normal brain function.

The nutritionist also gave us some great mealtime strategies and steps to introduce new foods into his diet.  I won't share them here, but I would be happy to pass them along, if you are interested.  I feel a bit overwhelmed with all that I have learned and so I am taking a deep breath and focusing on one thing at a time.

Obviously, I am not a doctor, I don't even play one on tv.  If you have used some of these tips for yourself or your own child and can confirm or deny their effectiveness, I would love to hear from you.  Starting tomorrow, we will begin gradually implementing these strategies.  We'll let you know how well it works!  This is a new journey for us, the wonderful world of Asperger's - and I look forward to connecting with others that are on this journey.

Percolating

For some time now I have had this idea brewing in my head.  It's been percolating (I know, another coffee reference - I can't help it) and I keep trying to ignore it or push it down, but it keeps popping back up.  The reasons I have been ignoring this idea are three-fold,

1.  I don't really know how to go about implementing this 'thing'.
2.  Somebody else can do it (lazy, huh?)
3.  I don't feel qualified.

Okay, so now you're curious, right (if not, just nod your head anyway).  It all has to do with the men in my life, primarily my husband and my son.

 Aren't they handsome?  Yes, there is a boy under that hair!

They both have ADD or Attention Deficit Disorder.  For those of you who do not have someone in your life dealing with ADD/ADHD, it is difficult to explain how this affects a family.

Don't get me wrong.  It is not all negative.  ADDers (as they are called) are often compassionate, creative, fun, resilient and more.

It's the down-side, however that can be a challenge to live with at times (it's okay, I have my husband's permission to be writing about this).  Some of the down-sides of having ADD are inattention, impulsivity, sleep disorders, learning disabilities and more.

As you can imagine, these things affect not only the ADDer, but the whole family.  This brings me to this idea that I mentioned.  I have encountered, over the past few years, countless women (sorry guys, I'm a girl, so that's who I'm dealing with here), who are the spouse or parent of these wonderful people.  It isn't something that just pops up in your first conversation, but as I have become closer with women, and observed their family dynamics, it is clear that there is a need for mutual support.

So, I have spoken with a couple of dear friends who have agreed with me.  Let's do this thing.  We are starting up a support group for women.  We are expanding this to include, Aspergers, autism, bi-polar, or any other challenges that you may feel qualify you in need of this support.  So often these conditions are co-morbid (meaning, they are simultaneous) with an ADD/ADHD prognosis.

My friends and I are not doctors, therapists, psychologists or any other 'ists'.  We are caring Christian women who want to offer encouragement and support to others, and receive the same, over a cup of coffee (of course!)

If you live in Orange County and this sounds like the kind of group you could use, email me karen@lightstone.tv and I will give you the info about where and when we are meeting.  For those of you who don't live in Southern California, but still feel you need support and encouragement, send me your email address and, as we share resources and links, I can forward them to you.

I am excited about this new venture and can't wait to see how God will use us to uplift one another!

"So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this; just keep on doing it. "
I Thessalonians 5:11 (The Message)