Floods

What a week!  You know how sometimes life just comes at you like a flood and you feel like you are dog-paddling to keep up?  Well, that is the way I feel today.  I wish I could write something more light-hearted - yesterday I felt a bit of a reprieve, but today - BAM!  Life is just hitting hard again.  In fact, I had completed today's entry when I heard a shout outside and there was the actual flood.  One of the kids had knocked the sprinkler system with a basketball and... well, here's what happened.  This day started out bad and it isn't getting any better.

But my minor crises are nothing compared to what others are dealing with this week.  There are two families I know who are grieving and struggling to come to terms with the loss of a  mother.  I have spoken with moms today who are overwhelmed and desperate for answers with how to help their children.  I have someone very special to me that is having a terrible crisis of faith and needs peace.  I am praying constantly for these dear ones.  I have no answers, all I can do is reach out in love and pray.

In the midst of so much pain and confusion, life goes on.  We have to continue with work, clean the house, make dinner and make sure the kids get their homework done (no easy task!).  I would rather curl up in my bed, close my eyes and make it all go away.

But I keep moving on, not on my own strength.  I am weak.  But through the strength of the One who brings me peace and has promised...
 "My grace is enough; it's all you need.
   My strength comes into its own in your weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Farewell to a Friend

I have been struggling with what to say today.  This morning I got a call from my mom to tell me that a dear friend had died.  Cindy had been ill for a very extended time and confined to a hospital bed.  Sometimes she would respond to visitors and at other times there was nothing but a blank stare.  The last time I saw her she smiled warmly when I came in the room and sang along with me.

Throughout her illness her beautiful children have been without the presence of a loving mother in their home.  They have done their very best to care for each other and 'keep the faith'.  We will never know how difficult this has been for them.  Cindy's courageous mom is in poor health herself and I cannot imagine the grief she bears, losing another child.

After talking to Pam on the phone today, I thought I would share with you the things I loved the most about my friend and the times we spent together, before kids, before marriage, before life became very complicated!

- her sense of humor  - she was the queen of practical jokes and spent a small fortune on Charmin to TP people's houses - my father was NOT amused

- her gift of music - she played the piano beautifully and loved music!

- her generosity

- her smile - killer!

- her M&M cookies - yum!  I need to make some today.

- her sense of adventure - we traveled from Canada to Central America together, and we were 'cohorts in crime'

I chose this grainy old picture of us for several reasons (I'm in the pink and Cindy is in black beside me). I love to remember the fun we had having dinner on top of the CN Tower in Toronto. We are seated with our youth pastor Dennis and his beautiful wife Lynda. Oh, how we tormented those two. I know we look sweet and innocent in the picture, but it is by God's grace alone that Dennis and Lynda still love us!

Ultimately, it is God's grace that I am dwelling on most today. I knew Cindy well enough to know that she was talented and beautiful, but also complicated and flawed (just like me!)

It is comforting and precious beyond words to know that today, her suffering is over, her body is released from its terrible bondage and she is resting at the feet of Jesus.

Cindy, you are loved. You will be missed. I will see you soon.


"So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (The Message)

Through the Kitchen Window

Lately I've been thinking about perspective. How different things can seem when you look at them from a different angle. My kitchen window is a case in point.

When I look through my kitchen window (it seems like I spend a lot of time here!) I look past my pretty teapot, straight at the beautiful tree we planted several years ago. It has grown quite large, with a beautiful green canopy that helps shade our house in the summer. In the fall, the tree is a blaze of red and in the winter, it is a stark silhouette.

Right now, I also have clematis and jasmine vines climbing up the back wall. When the jasmine are in bloom, the smell is intoxicating and I leave the window wide open to capture the scent.



It seems like I have the perfect vantage point. However, if I lean forward slightly and glance to the left, I am faced with a completely different picture. Stacked against the wall is the bed I keep meaning to paint. The lawn is brown and weed-filled, and the flower beds are empty. All of these things are there to remind me of what I haven't done and the pain of the past few years that have kept me from maintaining my home the way I would like to.



There are so many days I allow myself to get bogged down by the pain and failures of my life that I miss the beauty that is right in front of me - my children's smiles, the love of my husband, coffee with a friend, and even the view from my kitchen window.

I am learning (slowly) what the Apostle Paul found-

"I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." Philippians 4:12-13 The Message,

Peace in the Chaos

I had something different planned for my entry today, but just received news that made me change directions.

Today, the house that my daughter LA lives in was broken into. The place was ransacked and they stole whatever they could get their hands on from everyone who lives there. My first response is sadness, for my friend and her daughter and for my own sweet girl who has lost personal items and a sense of security.

My second response is anger. I would LOVE to take matters in my own hands and hunt down whoever it was that felt they could take what does not belong to them. How dare they invade someone else's property and take what they worked so hard for!

There are also, I must confess some why's involved. Why, Lord, would you allow this to happen to these good people and especially to my girl. She is so excited about her new career, her upcoming wedding and all the future has in store and now this! I also know how very hard K works to provide a home for her daughter. This is just not right!

But I know that why's don't always get answered and certainly not right away. The past several years, dealing with chronic pain have taught me this. When we don't know why we must cling even closer to the One who does. There is no peace without Him - no security in things, only in trusting the Maker of all things.

So, I ask that you would pray for peace for these dear ones, that God would restore them tenfold and envelop them with His peace and security. I have learned that without it, life is chaos.

"I'm leaving you well and whole. That's my parting gift to you. Peace. I don't leave you the way you're used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don't be upset. Don't be distraught." John 14:27 The Message

Grace and Baseball

How do days end up like this? And why does it happen so often?

I start the day filled with plans for all I am going to accomplish, then one by one things fall apart - the computer is slllloooowwww - the camera won't charge - nothing seems to go right. The end of the day comes and I think "what have I accomplished?"

One little listing on my etsy site - pretty mixing bowls - but I planned for more.

Now, I can stay home, knuckle down and force my way through this or call it a day and go watch my boy play Little League.

What a great day for baseball! The sun is shining, there's a breeze in the air and there is nothing sweeter than the sound of a ball hitting a bat and parents (plus Grandma and Poppa) cheering in the stands.

Tomorrow is another day. I'm letting go of what today wasn't and enjoying what it was.


"Grace mixed with faith and love poured over me and into me"
1 Timothy 4:13, The Message