This past week I reconnected with an old friend.
In a hospital room.
I haven't seen her in years. I've thought about her. Wondered how she was doing, even called and left a message but didn't follow through.
I've been busy.
I have a family, a business, a blog, a home. I have been battling with my own illness. Then there's all the kid's sports activities. I have my jewelry making, which I never have time for, my friends that do respond to my phone calls and emails, church, bible study...you get the idea. I'm busy. My life is full.
When my friend didn't respond, time slipped by and I just assumed she was busy like I was. She had a successful career, a new marriage, her own kids to deal with, and I figured she didn't have time for me.
I was wrong.
When I heard she was sick and in the hospital, I rushed to visit her, and discovered that the past several years have been very different for her than what I had imagined. She has been suffering and I never knew.
I can't get this out of my mind.
I regret the times when she was alone when I could have been there to hold her hand. The times when she was in pain when I could have offered a shoulder to cry on. The prayers I could have prayed on her behalf.
I know what it feels like to be where she has been - lying in bed, in pain, feeling so alone and wondering if anyone remembers you or cares about you. With every day that passes without a phone call or a visit, you become more convinced that you have been forgotten.
I can't go back in time and redo the past. I can't live in regret. I'm letting go and moving forward.
It was so sweet visiting my dear friend. She is dealing with her illness with a grace that astounds me. I look forward to reconnecting more and more and pouring back into her life.
I am blessed with friends that fill my life with love, laughter, encouragement and strength. I pray I am able to return a small portion of this back into their lives.
Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.
James 3:17-18 (MSG)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Mom's Brag Book
My daughter Ashley is getting married next June (have I mentioned that before?) She and Daniel recently had engagement photos taken by Daniel's best man, Andrew Guerra.
This is the post where I unashamedly and without reserve, show off pictures of my beautiful daughter and her handsome fiancee. This, after all, is the reason we have blogs and go through all the fuss and bother of getting on the internet in the first place.
I think Andrew did an amazing job. All of the pictures were beautiful and I had a hard time choosing - but these are a few of my favorites. Enjoy!
If music be the food of love, play on.
William Shakespeare
It is difficult to know at what moment love begins;
it is less difficult to know it has begun.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
For, you see, each day I love you more,
Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.
Rosemonde Gerard
Love is a great beautifier.
Louisa May Alcott
Louisa May Alcott
Brief is life but love is long.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
Life is a flower of which love is the honey.
Victor Hugo
Victor Hugo
Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
Psalm 36:5 (NIV)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Autumn Reverie
Oh, Fall! I miss you.
I know, it actually is fall here in Orange County. The weather is even trying to cooperate, with cooler, overcast days and some rainfall thrown in for good measure, but it's just a fake California version of what fall should really be. It's missing all the bells and whistles - that certain 'something'. I must admit, even though I love living in southern California, every year, right around this time, I get nostalgic and think back on those beautiful fall days we enjoyed when we lived in Canada.
I guess it's a bit harder this year because Steve got a chance to go back and visit and he was bragging on the phone about how beautiful it is - how perfect the weather is, how spectacular the leaves are, how crisp the air is - yaddah, yaddah, yaddah! Sure Steve, rub it in.
That, and the fact that he's spending time with my his family, who I am dying to see. I promise you, I'm happy for him, really....no, really!
Anyway, back to fall. I think, next to summer it's my favorite season. It may even be tied for first place. If we could just have fall, then summer, then fall, then summer, that would be perfect!
Winter - forget it! You can have the snow, the cold, the slush, the gray. I've lived most of my life without white Christmases and I don't dream about them. I know, there are some hardy souls who genuinely love winter, but most of you who live in colder climes will agree, after one snowfall (two at most), that white stuff loses its charm.
Spring - we get flowers year-round - lots of flowers. They are beautiful and I love them, but I think you have to survive the muck and slush of winter to really appreciate spring.
Summer - we invented that in California. I love it and we get plenty of it.
Fall - sigh! This is what I think back on when I start reminiscing.
This is my firstborn with her dog Fred. She is now an adult woman, engaged to be married, but when she was a little girl, we lived in Canada. Back then we only had one child - she was it.
We lived in the city but Steve's parents had a beautiful home on a large piece of property out in the country (that first picture is the lane leading up to their house). We loved going out there on weekends, especially in the fall. I would cut big branches of fall leaves and bring them back to the city to decorate our downtown apartment.
First, there are the autumn smells - the acrid smokey scent of fires burning in fireplaces, the musky earthy smell as the leaves pile up on the ground, not to mention the cinnamon aroma of apple pie baking in the oven. There's that feeling in the air, that snap of cold that makes you pull your jacket closer and reach into the back of your closet for your favorite pair of boots.
Then, there are the sounds - the satisfying crunch of leaves under your feet as you stroll through the fallen leaves, the swish of the rake as you gather them into a pile, and the squeal of laughter as the kids leap into the mounded piles of leaves.
But, most of all, it is the sights - the glorious sight of those leaves on the trees- crimson, orange, scarlet and yellow - a truly magnificent display. It is awe-inspiring and breath-taking and I miss it!
Our ladies group is doing a wonderful study on the names of God called "Knowing God By Name" by Mary A. Kassian. This past week, one of the names of God that we discussed was Yahweh Borey - Lord Creator. We talked about the fact that God created this incredible world for his pleasure and for ours. So often we take for granted the beauty and the majesty of the world around us. It's just there, the sky, the trees, the ocean, the mountains.
We were challenged to really take time to pause and look around, to develop that sense of awe and wonder. That a God so powerful would take the time to create so much beauty for us to enjoy, is an incredible thought. That is how much he loves us. I don't know about you, but I am determined to appreciate his gifts more, and if you are blessed with those spectacular fall leaves, send pictures!
"I don't think the way you think.
The way you work isn't the way I work.
God's Decree.
For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don't go back until they've watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They'll do the work I sent them to do,
they'll complete the assignment I gave them.
So you'll go out in joy,
you'll be led into a whole and complete life.
The mountains and hills will lead the parade,
bursting with song.
All the trees of the forest will join the procession,
exuberant with applause.
No more thistles, but giant sequoias,
no more thornbushes, but stately pines—
Monuments to me, to God,
living and lasting evidence of God."
Isaiah 55:8-11 (MSG)
I know, it actually is fall here in Orange County. The weather is even trying to cooperate, with cooler, overcast days and some rainfall thrown in for good measure, but it's just a fake California version of what fall should really be. It's missing all the bells and whistles - that certain 'something'. I must admit, even though I love living in southern California, every year, right around this time, I get nostalgic and think back on those beautiful fall days we enjoyed when we lived in Canada.
I guess it's a bit harder this year because Steve got a chance to go back and visit and he was bragging on the phone about how beautiful it is - how perfect the weather is, how spectacular the leaves are, how crisp the air is - yaddah, yaddah, yaddah! Sure Steve, rub it in.
That, and the fact that he's spending time with my his family, who I am dying to see. I promise you, I'm happy for him, really....no, really!
Anyway, back to fall. I think, next to summer it's my favorite season. It may even be tied for first place. If we could just have fall, then summer, then fall, then summer, that would be perfect!
Winter - forget it! You can have the snow, the cold, the slush, the gray. I've lived most of my life without white Christmases and I don't dream about them. I know, there are some hardy souls who genuinely love winter, but most of you who live in colder climes will agree, after one snowfall (two at most), that white stuff loses its charm.
Spring - we get flowers year-round - lots of flowers. They are beautiful and I love them, but I think you have to survive the muck and slush of winter to really appreciate spring.
Summer - we invented that in California. I love it and we get plenty of it.
Fall - sigh! This is what I think back on when I start reminiscing.
We lived in the city but Steve's parents had a beautiful home on a large piece of property out in the country (that first picture is the lane leading up to their house). We loved going out there on weekends, especially in the fall. I would cut big branches of fall leaves and bring them back to the city to decorate our downtown apartment.
First, there are the autumn smells - the acrid smokey scent of fires burning in fireplaces, the musky earthy smell as the leaves pile up on the ground, not to mention the cinnamon aroma of apple pie baking in the oven. There's that feeling in the air, that snap of cold that makes you pull your jacket closer and reach into the back of your closet for your favorite pair of boots.
Then, there are the sounds - the satisfying crunch of leaves under your feet as you stroll through the fallen leaves, the swish of the rake as you gather them into a pile, and the squeal of laughter as the kids leap into the mounded piles of leaves.
But, most of all, it is the sights - the glorious sight of those leaves on the trees- crimson, orange, scarlet and yellow - a truly magnificent display. It is awe-inspiring and breath-taking and I miss it!
Our ladies group is doing a wonderful study on the names of God called "Knowing God By Name" by Mary A. Kassian. This past week, one of the names of God that we discussed was Yahweh Borey - Lord Creator. We talked about the fact that God created this incredible world for his pleasure and for ours. So often we take for granted the beauty and the majesty of the world around us. It's just there, the sky, the trees, the ocean, the mountains.
We were challenged to really take time to pause and look around, to develop that sense of awe and wonder. That a God so powerful would take the time to create so much beauty for us to enjoy, is an incredible thought. That is how much he loves us. I don't know about you, but I am determined to appreciate his gifts more, and if you are blessed with those spectacular fall leaves, send pictures!
"I don't think the way you think.
The way you work isn't the way I work.
God's Decree.
For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don't go back until they've watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They'll do the work I sent them to do,
they'll complete the assignment I gave them.
So you'll go out in joy,
you'll be led into a whole and complete life.
The mountains and hills will lead the parade,
bursting with song.
All the trees of the forest will join the procession,
exuberant with applause.
No more thistles, but giant sequoias,
no more thornbushes, but stately pines—
Monuments to me, to God,
living and lasting evidence of God."
Isaiah 55:8-11 (MSG)
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