Signs of Affection

 Young Love!  Ashley & Daniel

We had another nice weekend.  Our son's end-of-season Little League party on Saturday, church Sunday morning and a great visit with Ashley's friends last night.  Kind of a low-key weekend.  I could get used to this!  The weather was hot - not sexy hot, just hot! (This is a family joke.  Don't ask!)  The air is filled with the scents of everything in bloom - orange blossoms, jasmine, plumeria.  It is intoxicating and I would love to share it with you, but couldn't find a scratch and sniff app for my computer.

This morning, after everyone else had headed to work and school, Tina (our sweet overnight guest) and I got a chance to sit down and chat over, what else, a cup of coffee!  She is one of our daughter's 'bestest' friends and so easy to talk to.  We got to chatting about books (she's reading something by Eugene Peterson), families (a very interesting topic) and affection and how we all display affection differently.

Good Friends - Harrison & Sam

Some of us are action people - doing things for someone to show them that we care.  Some of us value time spent together, that one-on-one face time.  Others of us love gifts.  Big or small, these tokens mean a lot!  Then, of course, there are those who value physical affection.  This was the one I found hardest.  I used to be a bit of a prickly pear - I need my physical space.  Then I married a snuggler and, wouldn't you know it, gave birth to three more!  I learned to let down my guard from a world-class cuddler - my husband of 28 years.

When I'm sitting at my computer and my 14-year-old, 5' 11' daughter comes over and sits in my lap, I have learned to stop and snuggle.  When my oldest, an adult herself now, squeezes in close on the sofa, I have learned not to tell her to move over (much).  When my boy comes up and gives me a bone-breaking hug I zip my lip and hug back with equal gusto.  Even the pets get more scratches and hugs.

Puppy Love - Rachel & Casey

I know some of you may be thinking, "what is she complaining about?  I would kill for a bit of physical affection, just some human contact".  This is what I have realized.  Be patient with me, I'm a slow learner.  Even if we spend time, give gifts, do for others and affirm them, nothing can replace physical touch.  We must have it.  Babies won't thrive without it.  God made us as physical beings with an innate need for touch.

As we get older, we tend to become more guarded with our displays of affection.  And yes, this is a good and appropriate thing to learn!  But, we still need to remember to touch - a pat on the back, an arm around the shoulder, a hug, a kiss, a snuggle.  It can truly make someone's day, to feel that connection with another human being.  (If this is really uncomfortable for you, start with a high five or a fist bump.)

This week, reach out to someone with a little bit of that physical affection we all need, and if you see me, I'll take a hug!

 Lasting Love - Mom & Dad

 ^{1 John 4:17-18}"God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us"

Freedom Isn't Free

 "It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you."
   ~Author unknown


What a great weekend!  It has been jam-packed with fun - a church picnic, an amazing Jazz Concert in the park (thank you, Brad and Michelle!), great times visiting with family and friends.  I wish every weekend had as many opportunities to hang out and eat good food!

In all the fun and food, it is easy to forget the real reason behind Memorial Day.  We need to take time to reflect on our freedom and the cost behind it.  The pictures below are to honor my friends and loved ones who make me proud to live in 'the land of the free'.

So...
to all the brave men and women who are have served and are now serving around the world, in order to preserve freedom

to the families that are left behind, praying for their safety

to those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice with their lives

You are not forgotten.
Thank you!

"God grants liberty only to those who love it, and are always ready to guard and defend it."
-- Daniel Webster (1834)

Farewell to a Friend

I have been struggling with what to say today.  This morning I got a call from my mom to tell me that a dear friend had died.  Cindy had been ill for a very extended time and confined to a hospital bed.  Sometimes she would respond to visitors and at other times there was nothing but a blank stare.  The last time I saw her she smiled warmly when I came in the room and sang along with me.

Throughout her illness her beautiful children have been without the presence of a loving mother in their home.  They have done their very best to care for each other and 'keep the faith'.  We will never know how difficult this has been for them.  Cindy's courageous mom is in poor health herself and I cannot imagine the grief she bears, losing another child.

After talking to Pam on the phone today, I thought I would share with you the things I loved the most about my friend and the times we spent together, before kids, before marriage, before life became very complicated!

- her sense of humor  - she was the queen of practical jokes and spent a small fortune on Charmin to TP people's houses - my father was NOT amused

- her gift of music - she played the piano beautifully and loved music!

- her generosity

- her smile - killer!

- her M&M cookies - yum!  I need to make some today.

- her sense of adventure - we traveled from Canada to Central America together, and we were 'cohorts in crime'

I chose this grainy old picture of us for several reasons (I'm in the pink and Cindy is in black beside me). I love to remember the fun we had having dinner on top of the CN Tower in Toronto. We are seated with our youth pastor Dennis and his beautiful wife Lynda. Oh, how we tormented those two. I know we look sweet and innocent in the picture, but it is by God's grace alone that Dennis and Lynda still love us!

Ultimately, it is God's grace that I am dwelling on most today. I knew Cindy well enough to know that she was talented and beautiful, but also complicated and flawed (just like me!)

It is comforting and precious beyond words to know that today, her suffering is over, her body is released from its terrible bondage and she is resting at the feet of Jesus.

Cindy, you are loved. You will be missed. I will see you soon.


"So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (The Message)

Coffee First!

 

Coffee is the elixir of life.

Okay, so you get the point, I like coffee. But there is more to the 'Coffee First' mindset than just java. The phrase came from my a dear friend of my mother. She is Finnish and as a good Finn, liked her coffee. The Finns have the highest per capita coffee consumption of ANY country in the world - they are #1. The United States, by comparison is a lowly #26.

In Finnish it's "kahvi ensimmäinen" - coffee first (hope I got the right translation). My mother said her dear friend Mrs. Lindholm was fond of this phrase. I am half Finnish so I feel it is my ethnic duty! What it REALLY means is, let's stop for a minute and visit. Let's take time out of our busy day to spend time with each other. Everything else can wait.


I know that it seems unrealistic in our busy, hectic lives to say "coffee first". But I tried it today. I met some friends at Panera (sorry Nat and Adrian - Peet's is still my fav!) and came home refreshed and ready to tackle the rest of the day.

Facebook is fine, texting is good, tweeting and email connect us to a degree, but nothing compares to sitting in the company of friends, laughing, sharing, eating and drinking, and sometimes even crying.




Take the time to call someone you have been meaning to meet and if you can't think of anybody to call - I'm always ready for a cup of Joe!

"But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!" 1 John 4:12 The Message